Rumors are true, within day's I will be a married man.
I give to you my bachelor party. We tore a special part in our liver's and in the process, tore Chicago a fucking new asshole.
Traveling to the airport with DonaldGatley and LordBlah.
Pre flight anxiety cocktail.
I chose a white russian. Note that LordBlah is wearing flip-flops. Save ya the trouble of having to take yer shoes off when heading thru airport security. Smart man.
Donald stayed up late the night before. Trying to hit the snooze button.
We slammed Wild Turkey on the rocks until our plane landed.
A few hours later we arrived at O'Hare airport. The first picture I took was a Dunkin' Donuts. The one thing I wish California had.
Took the metro to the city.
Even though LordBlah has a smart phone, for some reason he chose to bring a disposable camera. Who the hell knows why...
I give to you the "Sears Tower" or otherwise currently known as "Willis Tower".
I think the 2nd or 3rd tallest building in the world.
Cool looking church. Since we went to Chicago in August, you can bet the farm it was hot as balls.
We then arrived to our hostel, located in the Greek section of Chicago.
3 bunks beds, 2 sinks, 2 showers, 1 toilet..... and a communal kitchen.
We even got our own lockers to stink up.
It was fun as fuck. Basically 6th grade camp with yer best bub's.
LordBlah and I went to 6th grade camp together. Holy fuck.
Cool looking bottle of beer. Didn't buy it though.
So the golden rule to the hostel was that no alcohol was allowed on the property at all. Failure to abide this rule would have us immediately ejected from the joint.
Obviously that rule was quickly broken. After we all took turns giving our toilet a taste of the punishment it would be receiving for the next couple of days, we headed to Walgreen's across the street.
Capt.Stinky handled the booze duties, purchasing one 5th of Jim Beam, two 12 paks of PBR, a box of wine, a shit load of ice and a styrofoam cooler. That's how you establish a home base.
Anywho, after we got good and loose we went out to a popular deep dish pizza joint CommanderNBeef's mother had recommended. Thanks Barbara!
Get inside and the first thing I gotta do is piss.
This pic was on the wall, hilarious.
George Catanza and Popeye.
CommanderNBeef was hyped! We were all so excited for some authentic deep dish pizza.
LordBlah then began whispering evil deed's into my ear.
Then the pizza arrived!
Easily the best deep dish pizza I've ever had. It was everything I imagined. Cheesy, saucey and the dough was subperb! My mouth is salivating as I type this.
PrivateWormTits ate 5 slices of these fuckers!
PrivateWormTits ate 5 slices of these fuckers!
So basically LordBlah hatched a plan to pull the 'ol loosen-the-top-off-the-pepper gag. Stinky went off to the bathroom momentarily and everybody saw what LordBlah had done. And everyone knew what was going to happen. Once Stinky returned with the pizza at the table he immediately grabbed the pepper, began shaking it and like a flood of red flakes. The pepper came pouring out. It was funny as hell. But Stinky wasn't going to give us the last laugh without a fight, so he began chowing down. Claiming how much he loves red pepper. But the it proved to be too much and he went grasping for the water like a dehydrated Nigerian.
Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures of this evil prank being hatched and sprung. But I got the whole thing on video! Coming in the Chicago edit once the blog finishes.
Ditka! Or Hurricane-Ditka!
Legendary.
Afterwards we headed to a nice dive spot called the Raven. Giant Jenga?
CommanderNBeef and I were on it.
Due to my drunken state, I believe I lost every match we played.
So this is the last pic of CommanderNBeef for the night. We headed to another bar (which I can't remember the name of) that had a very college-esque atmosphere with jenga, beer pong and other random shit. Anyway, we arrive to the bar waiting to get drinks and some drunken mess of a girl was sitting there with us taking a shot of whiskey.
What happened next was pretty legendary in my opinion.
The girl took the shot and spilt some on her hand in the process, after she made the slurred comment "Oh no, I spilt whiskey on my hand", CommanderNBeef snatched her hand and stucker her fingures in his mouth, licking up the whiskey in the process. Leaving the girl stunned, yet completely attracted.
Needless to say that was the end of the night for CommanderNBeef. Her disappeared into the night with the girl. Way to go bub!
Bonson art outside of a weird goth club. We didn't go inside. Weren't sure if it was a place that swung for the other "team".
Needless to say, we wandered the streets our first night bar hopping all throughout Chicago, pissing in every alley and on every trash can and tree we came across.
Lots of cool buildings and architecture.
More pissing. Larbing it up.
Continued in part 2
EatFiend
-Sgt.Baconator
